Designer: Infravermelho
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okay so, today wasnt really a BANGIN day but it sure was okay for most of it. it kinda went by really at a slow pace though. i shoulda done my laundry, erg. now i gotta wake up early and do it with my mom. hold on, bathroom break. [pause]

ok. im back. ahh feel better. lol. ANYWAY. what was i sayin? oh yea. the day went by slow. ugh hate days like those. didnt do anything major. i DID listen to kash's show. thats suttin i didnt do in a min. like always it was great. sumtimes i wish i cud be her for a day. shes awesome =]

welp im excited about this week. got 2 big events that cud make my life a WHOLE lot better.on tuesday i got a appointment at mercy college, which is the school i got admitted into since i passed my placement test, GO ME ! LOL. im gonna meet with an admissions counsler about my classes. i also gotta see the financial aid office and see wassup with that. i REALLY wanna go to this school BUT no money no school sooo i gotta find a way and i will. im GOING to go to college damn it!

and the second event which is the one im most nervous about is the interview at Babies R us. Not cuz its an interview but cuz idk where the damn store is ! i know how to get there cuz ive asked around and whatever but ive never been there before. soooo hopefully, god willin i dont get lost and i get the job. i need dough! lol

umm , lets see. what else. what else. aww my parakeets are sleeping. so cute annndd THAT was random.

i havent called him today. i figured i give him a lil space. not TOO much but just a lil elbow room ya kno? i hate to make him feel like im stranglin him. nobody likes that and its not good for a relationship. ive been thinkin about everything. this entire thing. and i think he's the one. even tho ive felt this way before but its kind of different this time. i feel like, whats the word? safe. hes the only one who actually STAYED with me during the bad. when the weather didnt seems unny he stayed, thats why i dont give up so easily with him. it has to mean something if he stayed thru some of the bad. im not too sure if im IN love with him tho. i kno i do have so much love FOR him but im not sure.

i guess im scared ya know.

im like afraid of being happy.

because whenever i get TOO happy, something bad ALWAYS happens.

im just hoping not this time.

PLEASE, not this time.


♥eliiza